Monday, January 24, 2005

Good things this week:

1) I edited my Nano novel and gave it to some friends to read. It feels like a major accomplishment!

2) I am running and doing WW.

3) I finished reading the lengthy scifi book for book club this week. It was a good book, but it required a lot of concentration to read it and it feels like it's been a while since I got to read anything "fun". Now I have at least a couple of weeks before I have to start in on my next book club selection for my other book club...

4) ...which was my pick. I chose _An Amateur Marriage_ by Anne Tyler. I haven't read it yet, so I hope it's good. I had fun at last week's meeting and I'm looking forward to the one I have tomorrow night.

Bad things this week:

1) I'm feeling hormonal.

2) Tomorrow I'm supposed to weigh in after my first week doing WW and at the moment I don't have access to an accurate scale and I don't want to spend money on one.

3) In a few minutes I have to go pick up my kids and I sure don't feel like doing homework. All I really feel like doing is taking a nap, to be quite frank.

4) It's cold. I can't seem to warm up today. I think some fat free hot chocolate is in order when we get home. It's not as good as the regular stuff, but it's fewer points.

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Good things this week:

1)I've been going running every other day, so I've kept up my exercise even though my workout buddy hase been sick (Get better soon, Sue!)

2)I rejoined WW Online the day before yesterday and have been pretty much sticking to it. I feel good about it, and not deprived, so far.

3)Today instead of playing computer games, I got out the hard copy of my Nano novel and I've started editting it. I want to get this sucker into shape so I can have some people read it.

4)Tomorrow is "Thunder Down Under" at Cache Creek, and I'm looking forward to a fun night out with the girls instead of sort of dreading how lame it was going to be, like I was before. We are going to eat and drink too much, I already know, but I will just eat really light all day and then let myself enjoy the evening. No big deal.

5)This morning I enjoyed a rousing theatrical production of "Harry the Dirty Dog" at the Crest Theater with Will's class. I was only on the reserve list for driving on the field trip, but then a mom got sick and they called me up. We parked in a garage that let us out on across from the Capitol, and when we were leaving, there was a stream of people carrying "Electoral Dysfunction" signs with Bush's picture of them leaving the Capital steps. As we were waiting for a bunch of them to pass so we could get out to the street, one of the kids in the back said "wow, what are they doing? Are they having a party?" Of course I felt cautious, not wanting to say anything too opinionated in case it got back to a conservative parent who complained to the teacher or something like that, so I just said "they don't like the president, and they met there to talk about it." One of my passengers commented, "yeah, I like John Kerry better" and Will and his other classmate agreed. All three of them are in first grade! It's so good to we are mostly breeding them liberal here in Davis :-)

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

I Feel Fat

This morning I went to a yoga class where I ended up sitting close to the mirror. Usually I can't see myself that well but today, whenever we were doing twisting poses, I was looking at a back view of myself. Bleah. I look huge. I want to lose 20 lbs. And you know what really sucks? I started running again this past week and have run ~10 miles in the last 5 days. Now I feel fatter than ever -- wtf?

I joined WW Online a year ago fall and did it sporadically with not much in the way of results. This morning before I got up, I was thinking about whether I should rejoin, and then when I opened my email, I had received a thing from them asking me to come back. I'd rather not do it online because I don't think it works for me, but all the meetings in Davis a) conflict with my yoga class on Tuesday morning, b) are in the late afternoon, so I end up starving myself before my weigh-in every week or c) are on Saturday mornings, making it highly likely that I will blow them off. But I feel like the online thing doesn't really work for me and I need the support from the meetings. I feel discouraged and I haven't even gotten started doing anything :-(

Sunday, January 16, 2005

The Beatles

We're going through a Beatles fixation here in the Bezerra house. It started with me finally deciding to put together a CD of my favorite Beatles songs. We started listening to it in the car a couple of weeks ago, and since then the kids and I haven't wanted to listen to anything else. I'm using to download all kinds of other songs, and we have rented "Yellow Submarine" and "Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" starring Peter Frampton and the BeeGees (terrible but enjoyable in "wow this is bad but the music is good" kind of way). Rachel is particularly interested in figuring out which guy is singing lead on each songs and has gotten pretty good at distinguishing their voices from one another. She's getting obsessed, as she usually does, but that's okay. If she's going to get all fixated on something new, it might as well be something cool like Beatles music, right?


I was just reading over my last few entries prior to this morning's and was surprised at how many of them were recounting my illness and sleeplessness last week. This past week has been much better -- I've been healthy and I've slept like a rock. I don't think I've been appreciating it enough, so I'm just going to say, here and now -- it's been nice. I don't know now long it's going to last and I don't want to tempt fate, but I just want to say that I do appreciate it. I'd rather spend a solid week in Computer Hell than a single day suffering through a stomach virus.

Computer Hell

I was there for three days. On Tuesday I bought a new computer desk at IKEA, and on Wednesday I took down my computer system so I could put the desk together and set the system up on it. First problem: my wireless router was no longer working. I called the manufacturer to see if they could help me, and they told me A) the lights that were on indicated that the router was dead, and B) it was no longer under warranty even though they just replaced the stupid thing for me 8 months ago. So okay, I needed a new router. Went over to Office Max and bought one. But then when I went to set it up, I could no longer get my DSL connection going. Turned out that the 18-volt a/c adapter for my modem had somehow burnt out.

They didn't have one at Radio Shack (bleah). I was able to get the modem running using the 12-volt adapter that came with the new router, but I needed it for the router and I was worried about the effect on the modem, so I called SBC to see about getting a replacement for the modem adapter. They agreed that I should get the appropriate adapter for the modem and referred me to their DSL store, so I called there and was informed that they don't carry accessories for my modem because it's too old. They referred me to the manufacturer, who informed me that, since they don't make that modem anymore, they don't have an adapter available for it either. I spoke to two different people at SBC who both told me as long as the modem was working, it probably was fine to stay with the 12-volt adapter, but since I was going to have to get another one anyway, I decided I should really try to get another 18-volt one to use with the modem.

Ryan is out of town on business this weekend (wtf?), so yesterday I took my kids to Fry's Electronics Super Store(otherwise known as the fifth circle hell to those of us who are female) on a Saturday and endured all the sales guys with superior attitudes and the line to the cashiers that rivalled anything you encounter at Disney World during spring break, so as to purchase a "universal" a/c adapter for $35. Once I got everything hooked up properly, including a wireless connection on my laptop, I still wasn't able to get online, so there was yet another tech support call before everything was copecetic.

In short:
Trips to Radio Shack: 2
Trips to Office Max: 2
Trips to Fry's Fifth Cirle of Hell: 1
Calls to Speedstream (manufacturer of modem and old router):2
Calls to NetGear (manufacturer of new router):2
Calls to SBC DSL: I lost count. Somewhere around 9.
Times I melted down in frustration: 3
Outlay of cash: ~$125.00

All this because I dared to unhook my computer equipment and then set it all up again. I got it a nice new desk for it to live in -- you would think it would be more grateful. Hmph. Anyhow, I'm never taking the system down again. If we ever decide to move, I'm going to slide a pallet under the desk and move the whole thing with a forklift.

(Note: The preceding account contains the omission of certain events that may have been the result of fuck-ups directly attributable to the author during her time in Computer Hell. The author feels that frustration suffered and money spent during her time in Computer Hell more than make up for her being somewhat less than completely forthcoming in this account, and suggests than any readers who have a problem with that can suck it.)

Running again

I've been feeling much guilt because I included in my profile here on Blogger or Blogspot or whichever it is that I'm a runner, but I haven't run in the last couple of months -- I'm not sure if I'd run a single time since I started this blog. Well, this past Thursday day I started up again, and I went again yesterday, and all I can say is that I am a runner, because as soon as I got out there, I was loving it again. I don't know what distances I ran, but on Thursday I was out for about 35 minutes, and yesterday for about 45 minutes, and both times I felt like I could have gone for a while longer. It was very cool. So anyway, I don't feel bad about calling myself a runner anymore. And I'm glad to be back at it :-)

Saturday, January 08, 2005

Parenting on TV

First of all, I watch this show and I like this show. I laugh at it. I make note of the fact generally that it doesn't resemble my life as a housewife in any way shape or form, and that's okay -- it's a soap opera. None of my neighbors are former runway models who are screwing the gardener, or man-hungry divorcees. I can think of two very nice single moms who live across the street, and they are both lovely people but neither of them is anything like Terry Hatcher. And the woman who lives next door to me gardens constantly, but she does it in a denim shirt and a ponytail, not a cashmere twinset and an oddly shaped sunhat like Marcia Cross.

The show does bother me though, because there is one character on it whose life is actually meant to resemble mine, and that of many of my friends, and it doesn't -- at all. Felicity Huffman (a really good actress) plays a stay-at-home mother of four, three boys in the 4-7 age range and a baby girl. The portrayal of what her life is like has gone from extreme to ridiculous since the show began. Are we really supposed to believe that a woman who evidently has the financial means to hire a full-time, live-in nanny never thought of getting a sitter a few hours a week to help her hold on to her sanity? Or that once she hired the nanny, she would go directly from being worried the nanny couldn't handle things to being jealous of how much the kids liked the nanny (which she learned, of course, after installing a nanny-cam)without even taking an afternoon to maybe go get a manicure and go shopping and relax? She goes through one parenting issue per show, as though the writers have a list entitled "Things Moms Might Deal With" that they are checking off each week. The other characters have ongoing storylines in which they get to deal with issues like real people, but Lynnette has to cover everything mothers of small children might deal with, in stupid ways and quickly. Because, you know, SAHMs aren't very interesting, and you wouldn't want to waste too much time on them.

But really, this points to a bigger problem, I think. The problem is not so much with this show in particular as it is with parenting on TV in general, and the parenting of children under 10 in particular. I'll admit I don't watch many sitcoms anymore, but I can't think of any shows currently on TV that do a good job of this. on "Desperate Housewives," Lynnette's three sons are not distinguishable from one another. Same with the twin sons on "Everybody Loves Raymond," another good show that has a dismal track record of believable storylines involving the child characters. Really, I have to stretch as far back in my memory as "Roseanne" to think of a show that dealt realistically and interestingly with the whole topic of parenting on a regular basis (before that show went to hell, that is). That's pretty sad. I guess good parenting just doesn't seem as entertaining as bad parenting. Or maybe the hand-wringing of Mel Harris on "thirtysomething" (another show I loved) gave the attempt to portray parents dealing with real parenting issues a bad name.

Friday, January 07, 2005

Thursday, January 06, 2005


Yesterday I had the stomach flu for the third time this year. WTF? I used to get it fairly often as a kid, but as an adult, I usually go years in between bouts. I had it once last spring, and before that, it had been 8 years since the last time I'd had it. What is up with either the germs that are going around this year or my immune system, anyway?

Yesterday was just horrible. I wasn't eating or drinking anything since I knew it was just going to come back up anyway, but since my body was insisting on expelling anything that might be in my stomach every 30 to 45 minutes anyway, I just ended up retching even harder. Next time I will eat saltines in between just to have something in there that will come up easily. My whole stomach area and rib cage were hurting so bad I thought I'd die. The last time it happened was after the kids came home from school, and I was just glad that when you close both the laundry room door and the bathroom door, not a lot of sound gets through, because I sound awful throwing up.

I woke up in the early evening feeling better, and I went in the spa to deal with my aching back and hips. Oh, it was heaven! I spent the evening on the couch drinking Gatorade and watching TV, helping with the kids when I could (it seemed like Rachel and Ryan did homework for *hours* last night), and then I went in the spa again before going to bed.

The night didn't go much better. I woke up for extended periods three times, bathed in sweat and with a splitting headache. My first priority upon getting out of bed this morning was taking a shower -- I felt *disgusting* -- but I haven't been able to dry it so it's just going to be stringy and yuck all day. This headache is still killing me. A friend offered to do carpool for me this morning, but it turned out she couldn't and when Will whined at me about something stupid I ended up screaming at him in the car, complete with swearing :-( But I apologized and told him I love him before I dropped them off, and now they're at school and I can spend the next 6 hours concentrating on feeling better. I'm going to try to choke down an egg and see how that feels, and if it goes okay, I may brave some Excedrin for this headache, because it's killing me.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

This morning

Getting up this morning wasn't any easier than yesterday -- this cough still cut into my sleep time -- but I felt the difference as soon as I was actually upright. I feel human today! I'm headed to yoga after I drop the kids off. Then I'm hoping to get all the Christmas decorations inside the house taken down, and if it stays dry outside, I'll take down the lights too. I always have mixed reactions to taking down the Christmas stuff -- on the one hand, Christmas is over and the stuff starts to feel like clutter once New Year's is past, and on the other, I love Christmas, and the house feels very sterile and spare once the stuff is gone. But it has to come down, and better while the kids are out of the house!

We had an impromptu visit to the pediatrician's office yesterday -- when we were driving home from school, Rachel told me her ear hurt. She claimed she'd chewed up some paper and put it in there. I couldn't get anything out with tweezers and she seemed to be in a fair amount of pain, so I made an appt. The doctor couldn't see paper in there -- he let me look in both her ears and we just saw waxy stuff -- so they flushed a bunch of cruddy gross-looking stuff out of each ear. When he looked again, the doctor said her eardrum on the sore side looked irritated like she had a bit of swimmer's ear, which makes sense considering how much she's been in the spa lately, and he prescribed some ear drops. On the subject of her continued insistance on putting stuff in her ears, she lost two days of computer time, and that pissed her off mightily! I am hoping it will really sink in this time, though I'm not holding my breath.

Yesterday was day one with the new aide, Jessica, and it seemed to go fine. I let Mrs. D. know that I want to do whatever is necessary to make the situation work out *crossing my fingers*

Monday, January 03, 2005

This morning is hideous

I stayed up to late last night -- past 11 -- and then when I went to bed, I couldn't sleep because I was coughing. I waited way too long before I moved into the new room to sleep on the futon. Don't know what time I finally got to sleep, but when Ryan came in to get me up this morning, I couldn't believe it was really daytime. The last hour has been a slog, and as soon as the kids are safely deposited at school, I'm going back to sleep.

Sunday, January 02, 2005

Lazy Days

Friday was full of activity, but in the last two days, we've done almost nothing. Yesterday we watched "Return of the Jedi" on DVD, and today Ryan took Will to the movies and out for a haircut. I've been reading a really good book, The Time Traveller's Wife, and haven't felt like doing a whole lot other than reading it. But even Will seems to have enjoyed the down time. I was expecting to be pretty desperate for them to go back to school by this point, but really, I could do with another few days off. Especially the sleeping in part!

Good News

As this Christmas vacation winds down, we have some good news: more aide time has been approved at Rachel's school, and a new (hopefully) permanent aide has been hired for Rachel. Now we just have to cross our fingers that personality conflicts and other unpleasantness won't make problems in the classroom. For right now, though, I'm a happy mom :-)