Saturday, July 12, 2008

Car Names

Here is my list of best, boring and WTF? worst names:

Element - Elegant simplicity -- it's elemental. Would have been perfect for a compact hybrid with nice lines.

Escape - we rented one of these and it was a sluggish, rattling piece of crap. It would be a great name for a zippy little car though

Sonata - just sounds nice. I'd drive one. I guess it's not real manly though.

Avalon - See Sonata.

Odyssey - Perfect for a minivan -- it sounds like a non-perilous adventure to me.

Pacifica - I am a West-Coast girl

Caravan - Also perfect for a minivan -- it sounds cozy and familial.

Solara - See Sonata.

Jetta - Sounds zippy and cute, but kind of cool too.


Anything that is letters, numbers, or a combination thereof (Example: my car, the Mazda MPV)

Most made-up names (Examples: Camry, Corolla, Lumina, Elantra)

Everything made by Kia (Examples: Spectra, Sorrento, Optima)

Accord - as in, the two factions reached accord. *snore*

Civic - as in doing your civic duty by driving something that gets good gas mileage. Great car, boring name.

Passat - conveys nothing to me


Aspire - This could have worked on a really high-end car. But putting it on a boxy little subcompact just makes you think everyone driving one aspires to be driving something better

Buick Lucerne - it just makes me think of the brand of dairy products. Horrible

Chevy Uplander - what?

Avalanche - I don't want to drive anything that sounds like a natural disaster

Aztek - Let's name a car after an ancient civilization and then spell it wrong.

Chevy Equinox - I get that they are going with an astronomical term, but it just doesn't sing

Envoy (Denali)and Yukon (Denali)- I don't know what the Denali means on either of these, but both Enjoy and Yukon sound heavy to me. Some people might think that's good, but I don't.

Mercury Grand Marquis - there is nothing royal about this car. Give it up, Mercury

Nissan Armada - an armada is a fleet of ships. I can only guess Nissan is banking on the general public not knowing the actual definition of the word with this one

Pontiac Vibe - too close for comfort

Saturn Relay - sounds dinky and cheap

Suzuki Grand Vitara - grand what?

Touareg - maybe I'd like this better if I spoke German

Mitsubishi Lancer - this just sounds painful

All-Time Worst Car Names:

Pinto - I don't remember when it came out, but it's hard to imagine this ever sounded good, even in the 70s

Citation - duh. Hopefully whoever green-lit this one got fired

Probe - I think this is the all-time worst car name ever. EVER. It's not even a pleasant euphemism for anything it might bring to mind. And no one wants to see anything called a "Probe" coming up fast behind them