Monday, January 09, 2006

New Year's Resolutions

2005 was the first year I have ever gone about thoughtfully setting resolutions that were important to me and then working hard throughout the year to keep them. First, I resolved to be more assertive. This one I feel was largely sucessful. On the one hand, there are still many times when I want to speak up and don't, but on the other hand, I can think of at least two times this year when I've spoken up about things that were really bothering me, in situations when I was really upset and intimidated, and that was major. What I learned was that being assertive will probably always be hard for me and not what I naturally tend toward, but that it's definitely worth it to make the effort. It will continue to be a goal for me.

My other resolution for this year was to stop living my friends' problems. This one was fairly successful too. I did get into the middle of a fairly major issue between two close friends this year, which would seem to violate the spirit of the resolution, but looking back, I did what I felt I had to do, I think the result was positive, and I preserved my friendship with both people. Other than that, I think I've been able to worry and stress less about the things going on in the lives of my friends this year, and that's a good thing. It doesn't mean that I care about them less than I used to, just that I am no longer carrying their problems around with me the way I used to.

For the coming year, I will continue with my goals from last year and add a few more. In 2006, I resolve to get healthier and more fit. In the past, to the extent I've made body-related resolutions, it's always been about shedding pounds, and that hasn't worked for me. Stepping on the scale has gotten confusing -- one the one hand, currently I am the heaviest I have ever been without being pregnant. On the other, I wear the same size I did when I weighed 20 pounds less than I do. That and the fact that I can do things I couldn't used to do, like going for an hour-long run without stopping, indicate to me that a) I've been doing something right in the exercise department for the last year or two, and b) the scale is no longer an accurate measure of my fitness. Yes, I would like to be considerably slimmer than I am now, but dieting to lose weight hasn't been successful for me the numerous times I've tried it in the past three years. Therefore, my goal for the year is to become healthier and more fit, and to hope that becoming slimmer will follow. I want to develop better eating habits rather than to diet, and I have signed up with a personal trainer to help me learn to make the most of my workouts. I am also resolving to run more. It's something I enjoy and know is good for me, but something I talk myself out of doing whenever conditions aren't absolutely perfect (it's too hot out, it's too cold out, I didn't get a solid night of sleep, I don't have time to do my usual 3+ miles, etc). I've already done pretty well with this this past week, and I'm going to keep working on it, because I think it can make a huge difference in my level of fitness if I do it enough.

My other resolution, that I hesitate to utter in a public place because I'm so intimidated by it, is to work on becoming a published novelist this year. Once my Nano novel is done, and it's close, I will be the author of 5 completed novels, including a series of three young adult novels. It's time to get to work on this.

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