Saturday, April 23, 2005

Weird Nights

I've been have night sweats where I wake up drenched, and it sucks. This has been going on for more than a year, only before it was maybe once or twice a month, and now that I'm on medication that's supposed to control this and other hormonal issues, it's happening more like twice a week. Or more. Blech.

Last night, in addition to waking up drenched in my own sweat, I also got a nosebleed. I think it was related to my nose ring -- maybe I was rubbing my nose and the end of it poked me somewhere up in my nasal cavity and made it bleed. All I know is that as I was waking up, I had a vague sense that something was wrong in my nasal area, and the next thing I knew, my one nostril was a faucet and I used tissue after tissue to catch the flow and finally ended up going back to sleep with one wadded up and crammed up my nose. Very lovely. When I woke up, it looked like someone had been murdered on my side of the bed, so I'm washing my sheets. Just what I have time for this morning.

This week I had two dreams where I still lived at 83 Ryegate Place, the home I grew up in. Which naturally takes me back to the question I often have of how and why my dream-brain has gotten stuck, sort of, in my childhood. One of the dreams I had this week was about the hens coming to visit -- only I lived at home with my mom and that's where we all came to stay. It was like Ryan and the kids didn't exist. And sometimes I have dreams where they do definitely exist, and I still live on Ryegate, and they live -- I don't know, it doesn't come up. I've even had dreams where I seem to be in high school and I'm dealing with getting to class on time, whether I have homework or if I can remember the combination to my locker or there's a cute guy I'm all excited about -- but I'm also stressing about finding a babysitter for the kids so I can actually go to school. Very weird. I've always wondered why my dreams are still stuck in San Ramon. Maybe because I still "experience myself" as a teenager, as my therapist talked about? I don't know. Still curious though.

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