My Christmas gifts

Okay, so get this:
Last week, after I got Ryan's second Christmas gift, and I wrapped both of them and put them under the tree, I started the usual taunting: I got your gifts! You're gonna like them! And so on. It's juvenile but I can't help myself. So I say to him, have you bought my gift? And he's like, yeah. And I'm an idiot, so I believed him!

Sunday, we're driving into the Longs parking lot to check out Christmas trees. I'm thinking about what a mess the house is, and how my whole entire family is coming next week on Christmas, and how I'm going to have to clean the whole damn place before that. I'm thinking about how I'd like nothing better than for someone else to come and clean. So I said, you got my Christmas present already, right? And Ryan looks at me and goes, yeah, and he's so lying! He's a terrible liar and usually I like that about him. Oh, I was so mad! So I gave him a pretty much an endless amount of crap about it, and then I finally said to him, okay, well, if I was talking to a husband who hadn't bought his wife a gift yet and also hadn't lied his ass off about it, I might tell him that his wife would like someone to come and clean the house before Christmas and that would make a pretty excellent Christmas present. And he's all, oh, thanks for telling me that. So I was pretty happy about it at that point.

Today I went into Sac to have lunch with him and we got on the subject of Christmas gifts and I started bugging him about my Christmas present again. And again, he claimed to have bought me one already. And I was just not falling for it this time. Which is why I felt like a moron when I took him back to his office and he told me to pull into the parking lot and wait a minute, and I watched him go open the trunk of his car and pull out a Macy's bag. And he brought it over to me -- it had two packages in it -- and he said could you put these under the tree for me?

So, a) he did buy me presents
and b) no one is coming to clean my house next week!

I thought maybe he'd had them gift wrapped at the store, but when I pulled them out and put them under the tree as instructed, I couldn't help noticing that someone had done a perfectly hideous job of wrapping them. Can't wait to see what's in them. One is clearly clothing and the other one, I'm guessing DVDs.